I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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