i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
