I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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