and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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