I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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