I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't turn off my feet"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
