Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
