you didnt know i had herpes?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
