she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
