Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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