Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
