im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
