On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
