How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
