I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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