ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Randomize
