ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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