Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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