More tranny stories later!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
