you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
