You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
