Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
