i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
