i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
