i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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