Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize