well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
