Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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