She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Someone shattered a urinal.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
