So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
