ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
