I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
