I just saw a hot homeless man
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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