Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
