Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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