just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
