Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
