no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
