well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
