Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
