What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
