she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
