He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
