Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Quick, to the slutcave!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
