ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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