i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
