i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
