oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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