fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
