he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That accounts for only three of the penises
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
