When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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