he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just want to make out with him forever
you never un-have a 4some
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
